Tiger Woods Is Finished

How tragic it is when age or illness or injury (or any combination thereof) forces a gifted athlete to leave the game he loves--leave the game when, deep in his self-deluded heart, he feels he still has something left. Alas, professional sports isn't country music. It isn't the Grand Ol' Opry where, no matter how old and decrepit you are, you can continue singing to packed houses and adoring crowds until you basically keel over.



Which brings us to the legendary Tiger Woods. How sad it was to hear him say the other day, at the age of 40 (soon to be 41), that although he "wasn't quite ready" to come back to the tour, he was still plugging away, making progress--as if any of us give him the remotest chance of taking up where he left off, which is to say, reassuming his place as one of the greatest golfers in the world.



For one thing, the tour is full of guys in their twenties who are better than Tiger--who can drive the ball as far or farther than Tiger could drive it in his prime. Let's be clear. Today's young guys aren't just a bunch of opportunists taking advantage of Tiger's absence on the tour, looking to make their marks while Tiger is laid up. These are extraordinarily good golfers.



For another thing, like Tiger himself, dozens of these guys were introduced to the game of golf by their fathers, back when they were still little boys. Tiger's unique and inspiring story of having begun the game while barely a toddler is not only not unique anymore, it's almost "typical." Everybody starts young now.



Indeed, even if Tiger were to come back and play again--and for the sake of argument, was able to put together a few magnificent rounds, back to back--it would still be Tiger Woods vs. The Field. Tiger Woods vs. The World. And the sobering news is that the world has gotten a hell of a lot better since he left. The Young Turks have changed everything. (Just as Phil Mickelson).



Now that top-level golf is no longer within Tiger's reach, it raises the question of what he should do to occupy his time. Fortunately, he is not only financially secure, the man is undeniably wealthy. Which is to say, you won't see him on television any time soon, pitching vitamin supplements or reverse mortgages.



On the other hand, it's hard to imagine Tiger joining a team of commentators on the golf network. As great an athlete as he was, Tiger was never what you would call your consummate "team player." But it's equally hard picturing him biding his time until reaching age 50, in order to be eligible to play on the senior tour.



All of which speaks to the tragedy of professional sports. In what other endeavor are you "over the hill" at age 40? How unfair is that!? If Tiger lives to the ripe old age of 90, it means he has ahead of him a half-century of time to kill. My recommendation? Move to Las Vegas and become a celebrity greeter at one of the casinos. Lots of action, lots of adulation, lots of babes. What's not to like?

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