On Liam: “He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”
1. On audience participation: "I cringe when I see these bands doing all that 'Everybody over here get your hands up!' shit. Fuck off. I'm not arsed where I am or even why you lot [the audience] are here. I've made a record, you've come to see me play it live. The end. Now buy a T-shirt on the way out and fuck off."
2. On interviews: "I have an opinion on everything, and if I don't have an opinion, I'll fucking make one up on the spot."
3. On writing an autobiography: "Yes, I'll do one. No, I won't do a Wayne Rooney and write six."
4. On his biggest hero: "My mum, because she brought Liam Gallagher up. I mean, fuck me."
5. On litter: "I don't like litter. I like that Singapore thing. You know – you get caught dropping litter you get your head chopped off."
6. On music reviews: "I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it'd probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo."
7. On artist-against-artist beef: "You can say that you respect someone as an artist a thousand times and it will never get reported. But you call someone a cunt once…"
8. On people who work too hard: "I don't like workaholics. Don't fucking trust them. Why are they working? I don't trust busy cunts. That's how wars start: busy fuckers."
9. On Keane: "Traditionally speaking, the three biggest twats in any band are the singer, the keyboardist, and the drummer. I don't need to say anything else."
10. On his mum: "Hard work and a fucking filthy tongue, that's what I inherited from my mum. She taught the nineties how to swear."
11. On his dad: "My old man invented road rage. When the new Ford Sierra came out it was a big thing. I remember him calling a guy in the street out of the window, 'You fucking Sierra-faced bastard!' That's poetry, man."
Ben Stansall / AFP / Getty Images
12. On his cat: "Well, I didn't name him. Let's get that straight. My 4-year-old named him Boots. Not after the chemist, obviously. Although, if he'd named him Superdrug, that would've been fucking brilliant. Anyway, I don't know why he's called Boots and I didn't think I'd like him, but I fucking love this cat. I fucking love him. I keep telling him, 'I fucking love you.'”
13. On Liam: "I read these interviews with him and I don't know who the guy is who's in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I've been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fucking knobhead."
14. On why he doesn't like Alt-J: "I don't know. One of them's got a moustache, and that's unacceptable."
15. On his daughter: "Kids have got to make their own choices. I don't want my daughter's record collection to be the same as mine – I don't want her to be as cool as me."
16. On life lessons: "Nothing good happens between the hours of 4am and 6am."
17. On his wife: "I didn't even get a fucking birthday present last time. Fucking hell! She pulls out that one: 'But you've got everything! How many more effects pedals can I buy you?' One more! One fucking more will do. One more!"
18. On building his own gym: "I cannot go to a gym. I cannot be in a gym with another guy my age who was at Knebworth – he ain't seeing that. That's too undignified for me. So I'm afraid we had to dig the basement out."
19. On Adele: "Adele? I'm not a fan. She always comes on the radio when I'm having my cornflakes: 'Hello?' No, fuck off!"
20. On Liam's anger: "He's rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup."
21. On stagecraft: "It's beneath me. Stagecraft is beneath me. That guy from Maroon 5 – he needs stagecraft."
22. On his favourite anecdote: "Ewan McGregor was my neighbour, right, and he came round my house the night he got the part of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I just happened to have two of those lightsaber toys, so I said, 'Come on – in the back garden.' And we had a fucking lightsaber fight. His first Jedi training session was with yours truly in my back garden at eight in the morning."
Mark Metcalfe / Getty Images
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